Sign In
Register
Help
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
Q1. Husband of One Wife
MultiQuote
#2
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 282
- Joined: 29-March 08
Posted 13 January 2009 - 07:07 PM
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
I believe that, in order for a person to lead a church, they must be able to lead in their own house. Now, no one is perfect-there will not be a perfect home. But, if one can not keep children in check, and make sure that the Bible is being studied through family time, etc., then one will have problems.
I was not saved when my children were small, and so they were not raised in a Christian home. I was raised in a very strict home, but my parents didn't get saved until many years after Us kids moved away. Now, my kids know where I stand and what I believe. Sometimes they think I'm a little weird, but I'm ok with that. I want them to know the truth about salvation, and I do what I'm led by The Spirit to do. But it is much harder to reach adults than it is to reach children. That is why we should be teaching them when they are youn and are willing to listen to us.
Also-if a man can not get his kids to listen and obey-who will take him seriously in church?
I believe that, in order for a person to lead a church, they must be able to lead in their own house. Now, no one is perfect-there will not be a perfect home. But, if one can not keep children in check, and make sure that the Bible is being studied through family time, etc., then one will have problems.
I was not saved when my children were small, and so they were not raised in a Christian home. I was raised in a very strict home, but my parents didn't get saved until many years after Us kids moved away. Now, my kids know where I stand and what I believe. Sometimes they think I'm a little weird, but I'm ok with that. I want them to know the truth about salvation, and I do what I'm led by The Spirit to do. But it is much harder to reach adults than it is to reach children. That is why we should be teaching them when they are youn and are willing to listen to us.
Also-if a man can not get his kids to listen and obey-who will take him seriously in church?
#3
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 254
- Joined: 14-January 03
- Gender:Male
- Location:Central Florida
Posted 24 January 2009 - 02:46 PM
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
I feel he is talking about a person who is completely devoted to their marriage. One that others can look to as a person who is faithful and committed to doing the right thing.
If one cannot control and lead in the home they will probably be very ineffective as a leader in the church. The home in many ways is a living, breathing, example of “the church” in miniature.
I feel he is talking about a person who is completely devoted to their marriage. One that others can look to as a person who is faithful and committed to doing the right thing.
If one cannot control and lead in the home they will probably be very ineffective as a leader in the church. The home in many ways is a living, breathing, example of “the church” in miniature.
#4
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 521
- Joined: 12-January 08
- Gender:Female
- Location:San Francisco Bay Area, Calif.
- Interests:I am always seeking to grow in Christ and to learn more of His Word. I'm married and have two wonderful, grown children who live nearby. I'm writing a very personal book the Lord commisioned me to write in 1991. I said, I don't have anything to say! He said, "you will." Then He gave me some wonderful promises for the future, and shortly after that we lost our business, home car, etc. went through catastrophic losses. The book is about the miraculous way God has taken care of us. We were homeless, but have lacked nothing during a long stay in the wilderness. He is faithful!!! and now He is bringing us out into the promised land.
Posted 24 January 2009 - 05:24 PM
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"?
A Leader of stability, humility,integrity, maturity and godliness...for starters.
I'm really glad for this question and to have Pastor Ralph explore all of the different options for this phrase. I believe it is speaking of a man devoted to his wife in faithfulness and integrity.(It's much more than that and I'm also glad Paul reiterated the different qualifications in the next verses, because there are men who are the husband of one wife, but who rule with a cruel, iron fist, have secret addictions, are charming in public, but cold and indifferent at home but whose families look good on the surface.)
This question is clearly misunderstood. At a former church, a dear and godly man was denied becoming a deacon, though fully qualified in every way,( and would have served well,) because he had been married and divorced as a young man before becoming a Christian. I really struggled with this. Also, I was in Bible study years ago which was an International study, and they wouldn't invite women or men to be leaders if there was a divorce in their past, regardless if it was prior to becoming a Christian... I remember thinking as a new Christian, and stumbling over it "I guess only certain things are under the blood and forgiven when we are saved"....sad that.
Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
How one leads and cares for his family is an indicator of how he will lead and shepherd the church family.
A Leader of stability, humility,integrity, maturity and godliness...for starters.
I'm really glad for this question and to have Pastor Ralph explore all of the different options for this phrase. I believe it is speaking of a man devoted to his wife in faithfulness and integrity.(It's much more than that and I'm also glad Paul reiterated the different qualifications in the next verses, because there are men who are the husband of one wife, but who rule with a cruel, iron fist, have secret addictions, are charming in public, but cold and indifferent at home but whose families look good on the surface.)
This question is clearly misunderstood. At a former church, a dear and godly man was denied becoming a deacon, though fully qualified in every way,( and would have served well,) because he had been married and divorced as a young man before becoming a Christian. I really struggled with this. Also, I was in Bible study years ago which was an International study, and they wouldn't invite women or men to be leaders if there was a divorce in their past, regardless if it was prior to becoming a Christian... I remember thinking as a new Christian, and stumbling over it "I guess only certain things are under the blood and forgiven when we are saved"....sad that.
Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
How one leads and cares for his family is an indicator of how he will lead and shepherd the church family.
#5
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 226
- Joined: 30-May 08
Posted 24 January 2009 - 07:51 PM
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"?
I think it means what it says - He should be married to only one wife at a time. We can take a lesson from Solomon. (it doesn't say how many concubines? Only kidding)
Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
God has placed man in authority over his household, and has given to him rules to follow, to help him lead the family, helping his family to avoid problems that will come their way.
If he does well with this responsibility, he should be more able to be a good leader for the church, helping them to face the problems ahead of them.
Both responsibilities take much wisdom, patience, love, faithfulness, loyalty, trustiness. For man to do this well, he must depend on the Holy Spirit to lead him, and he must be a man found on his knees in prayer.
God has placed a greater responsibilty over our men. During the counseling period, before the two become one, I hope the pastors out there are bringing this to their attention.
I think it means what it says - He should be married to only one wife at a time. We can take a lesson from Solomon. (it doesn't say how many concubines? Only kidding)
Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
God has placed man in authority over his household, and has given to him rules to follow, to help him lead the family, helping his family to avoid problems that will come their way.
If he does well with this responsibility, he should be more able to be a good leader for the church, helping them to face the problems ahead of them.
Both responsibilities take much wisdom, patience, love, faithfulness, loyalty, trustiness. For man to do this well, he must depend on the Holy Spirit to lead him, and he must be a man found on his knees in prayer.
God has placed a greater responsibilty over our men. During the counseling period, before the two become one, I hope the pastors out there are bringing this to their attention.
#6
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 14
- Joined: 10-January 09
Posted 25 January 2009 - 06:41 AM
QUOTE (Pastor Ralph @ Jan 9 2009, 05:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
christian leadership calls for The 2Cs :-
1) christ-centredness AND
2) commitment
only a committed person can be entrusted with the Lord's little ones. how then can we tell if the person is suitable for leadership position? obviously, through the management of his own family; AND his relationship within and without.
paul is advocating leadership criteria along the line of a good tree producing good fruits; telling us to look for the quality (or lack of) of the person's fruits as an outworking of his faith. truly, a person is known for his fruits.
strangely, in many western countries, the opposite is true. the questionable private lives of many politicians are implicitly ignored so long as they are able to keep the status quo and deliver food on the table. which could very well explain the mess we are in.....
#7
- Prosthetist/Orthotist
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 757
- Joined: 21-January 06
- Gender:Male
- Location:East Africa
-
Interests:As a born again Christian, I have accepted the call of My Lord Jesus Christ to live for Him, serve Him through singing and evangelising Christ's messages of salvation.
Am serving Christ with my work as a Prosthetist/Orthotist
Posted 25 January 2009 - 09:32 AM
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
A church resembles a family. It is, indeed, larger, and there is a greater variety of dispositions in it than there is in a family. The authority of a minister of the gospel in a church is also less absolute than that of a father. But still there is a striking resemblance. The church is made up of an assemblage of brothers and sisters. They are banded together for the same purposes, and have a common object to aim at. They have common feelings and common wants. They have sympathy, like a family, with each other in their distresses and afflictions. The government of the church also is designed to be paternal. It should be felt that he who presides over it, has the feelings of a father; that he loves all the members of the great family; that he has no prejudices, no partialities, no selfish aims to gratify. Now, if a man cannot govern his own family well; if he is severe, partial, neglectful, or tyrannical at home, how can he be expected to take charge of the more numerous "household of faith" with proper views and feelings? If, with all the natural and strong ties of affection, which bind a father to his own children; if, when they are few comparatively in number, and where his eye is constantly upon them, he is unable to govern them aright, how can he be expected to preside in a proper manner over the larger household, where he will be bound with comparatively feebler ties, and where he will be exposed more to the influence of passion, and where he will have a much less constant opportunity of supervision? Confucius, as quoted by Doddridge, has a sentiment strikingly resembling that before us: "It is impossible, that he who knows not how to govern and reform his own family, should rightly govern and reform a people." We may remark, also, in this verse, a delicate and beautiful use of words by the apostle, to prevent the possibility of misapprehension. While he institutes a comparison between the government of a family and that of the church, he guards against the possibility of its being supposed that he would countenance arbitrary authority in the church, even such authority as a father must of necessity employ in his own family.
A church resembles a family. It is, indeed, larger, and there is a greater variety of dispositions in it than there is in a family. The authority of a minister of the gospel in a church is also less absolute than that of a father. But still there is a striking resemblance. The church is made up of an assemblage of brothers and sisters. They are banded together for the same purposes, and have a common object to aim at. They have common feelings and common wants. They have sympathy, like a family, with each other in their distresses and afflictions. The government of the church also is designed to be paternal. It should be felt that he who presides over it, has the feelings of a father; that he loves all the members of the great family; that he has no prejudices, no partialities, no selfish aims to gratify. Now, if a man cannot govern his own family well; if he is severe, partial, neglectful, or tyrannical at home, how can he be expected to take charge of the more numerous "household of faith" with proper views and feelings? If, with all the natural and strong ties of affection, which bind a father to his own children; if, when they are few comparatively in number, and where his eye is constantly upon them, he is unable to govern them aright, how can he be expected to preside in a proper manner over the larger household, where he will be bound with comparatively feebler ties, and where he will be exposed more to the influence of passion, and where he will have a much less constant opportunity of supervision? Confucius, as quoted by Doddridge, has a sentiment strikingly resembling that before us: "It is impossible, that he who knows not how to govern and reform his own family, should rightly govern and reform a people." We may remark, also, in this verse, a delicate and beautiful use of words by the apostle, to prevent the possibility of misapprehension. While he institutes a comparison between the government of a family and that of the church, he guards against the possibility of its being supposed that he would countenance arbitrary authority in the church, even such authority as a father must of necessity employ in his own family.
#8
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 90
- Joined: 25-November 08
- Gender:Female
- Location:Virginia Beach, Va
Posted 25 January 2009 - 11:03 AM
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12)
What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"?
temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.
Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
In all three lists the ability of the leader to manage his family is mentioned. Why? Because there is a direct relationship between the ability to provide effective leadership to one's family household and the ability to manage God's household, the church.
But observing them will tell you something about the candidate for church leadership. If his children are "wild and disobedient" (Titus 1:6), that may be a sign that something is wrong with the leader. Of course, our cultures are different than the strong patriarchal family structure of the first century, so that must be taken into account, also.
What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"?temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.
Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?In all three lists the ability of the leader to manage his family is mentioned. Why? Because there is a direct relationship between the ability to provide effective leadership to one's family household and the ability to manage God's household, the church.
But observing them will tell you something about the candidate for church leadership. If his children are "wild and disobedient" (Titus 1:6), that may be a sign that something is wrong with the leader. Of course, our cultures are different than the strong patriarchal family structure of the first century, so that must be taken into account, also.
#9
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 23
- Joined: 09-January 09
Posted 25 January 2009 - 02:17 PM
QUOTE (Pastor Ralph @ Jan 9 2009, 10:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
I feel Paul is telling us with that phrase ( husband of one wife ) is a man with morals. If the pastors family is obedient to God and him then this will give him the ability to provide an effective leadership.
#10
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 702
- Joined: 06-January 06
- Gender:Male
- Location:St. Petersburg, FL
- Interests:It is just about Jesus.
Posted 25 January 2009 - 02:36 PM
A leader must be a person of integrity, faithful, to God and family.
One's family is simply a small church. How we conduct and support our family life should not differ with how we conduct ourselves in the house of the Lord. How we serve our family members is how we should serve the children of God.
One's family is simply a small church. How we conduct and support our family life should not differ with how we conduct ourselves in the house of the Lord. How we serve our family members is how we should serve the children of God.
#11
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 22
- Joined: 10-January 09
- Gender:Female
- Location:Tennessee
- Interests:Family,Reading, Christian Message boards, computing, Messianic music, sewing.
Posted 25 January 2009 - 03:34 PM
QUOTE (Pastor Ralph @ Jan 9 2009, 12:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
I would think a man with more than one wife would have his hands full at home and that would take away from his duties as Pastor.
If a leader doesn't have control over his personal life it indicates that he's weak, and being a Pastor requires strength, patience and leadership abilities. We wouldn't trust our finances to someone who's bankrupt. In the same way we would doubt a man of Gods abilities who's household us unstable.
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
#12
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 50
- Joined: 21-October 07
- Gender:Male
- Location:Philippines
Posted 25 January 2009 - 05:04 PM
QUOTE (Pastor Ralph @ Jan 10 2009, 01:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
1. It is a leader devoted to his ministry. having a husband of one wife is an indication that this leader is faithful to his wife. Faithfulness is one of the aspect of a good leader..
2. If, a leader who cannot handle his family nicely or cannot control, or not obeyed by his own wife and children he is not a good leader. and he is not qualified to be a leader or overseer of the church. leader must be the one to lead, not he is to be lead.
#13
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 138
- Joined: 09-January 09
- Gender:Male
- Location:Cape Town South africa
- Interests:Electro mechanics (High speed production machines) The study of the literal biblical creation account, and getting to know God through His creation and His word.
Posted 25 January 2009 - 05:08 PM
I believe that Paul was saying that a man who is faithful and shows respect to his wife and brings his family up in a god fearing manner will be looked up to and respected.If his family conducts themselves in a way that is pleasing to God it shows that he taught them well.These are the qualities that would make a good leader.
If a man has two wives which one does he put first?God gave Adam only one Eve not two and there is only one God and one way to salvation through Jesus Christ.
If a man has two wives which one does he put first?God gave Adam only one Eve not two and there is only one God and one way to salvation through Jesus Christ.
#14
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 15
- Joined: 09-January 09
Posted 25 January 2009 - 10:04 PM
QUOTE (Pastor Ralph @ Jan 9 2009, 12:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
I believe that Paul is saying that husband of one wife is a good leader, because God said that a husband is to only have one wife. If a man is only with one woman, than he understands the concept of the devotion to one person.
If a leader is unable to control his family, how is he going to be able to control the congregation he leads?
#15
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 521
- Joined: 17-February 06
- Location:Plano Illinois
- Interests:I am an Experimental Test Mechanic for Electro Motive Inc. it was a part of G.M. but was sold off last year. I do R/D of locomotives its quite challenging sometimes,but I enjoy the variety. I enjoy my church which is Plano Christian. I also enjoy watching the Cubs play.
Posted 25 January 2009 - 10:14 PM
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
The kind of leader that put the church over himself. We are told to love our wives as Christ love the Church to do this we must always put them and their needs over our own. To be a good leader you must always be able to lead your family. If a person is to lead the church faithfully then he must also be faithful in leading his family.
The kind of leader that put the church over himself. We are told to love our wives as Christ love the Church to do this we must always put them and their needs over our own. To be a good leader you must always be able to lead your family. If a person is to lead the church faithfully then he must also be faithful in leading his family.
#16
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 520
- Joined: 08-January 06
- Location:Northern California
Posted 25 January 2009 - 10:42 PM
He must be totally committed to his marriage from the beginning. The leader has followers. Leaders must be an example to their followers & to unbelievers too. How their family operates on a daily basis is an indication of the leadership abilities of the husband. If all is well there, he can be trusted to a wider leadership.
#17
- Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 13
- Joined: 13-January 09
Posted 25 January 2009 - 11:37 PM
If a man is committed to his one wife and family and shows a lenthy track record of this committment,
don't you feel he will more likely be a committed leader in the church? The candidate after God's own
heart will want the two to work in unison for the purpose of reflecting Jesus' love and devotion.
don't you feel he will more likely be a committed leader in the church? The candidate after God's own
heart will want the two to work in unison for the purpose of reflecting Jesus' love and devotion.
#18
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 453
- Joined: 15-September 08
- Gender:Male
- Location:South Africa
Posted 26 January 2009 - 04:06 AM
Q1. (1Timothy 3:2-12)
What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"?
This must be a leader of unquestioned morality. If married, must be entirely true and faithful to his one and only wife. The leader must also have no immoral relationships with other women.
Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
If a leader cannot manage his own family, how will he be able to manage a congregation that is larger? In his home, the number of persons is comparatively small, they are all related to him, and most of the members are very much younger than he. In the church, however, the numbers are apt to be much greater, and with this increase in numbers we have a diversity of personalities. It is obvious that if a man is unfit to rule in the smaller sphere, he would be clearly disqualified for the larger.
What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"?
This must be a leader of unquestioned morality. If married, must be entirely true and faithful to his one and only wife. The leader must also have no immoral relationships with other women.
Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
If a leader cannot manage his own family, how will he be able to manage a congregation that is larger? In his home, the number of persons is comparatively small, they are all related to him, and most of the members are very much younger than he. In the church, however, the numbers are apt to be much greater, and with this increase in numbers we have a diversity of personalities. It is obvious that if a man is unfit to rule in the smaller sphere, he would be clearly disqualified for the larger.
#19
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 74
- Joined: 02-November 08
- Gender:Female
- Location:Australia
- Interests:Have had strongest interests in horse-riding, dancing, piano, teaching (both school and Sunday School) art, poetry writing, real estate, three adult children, two adult grandchildren, home groups, theophostic ministry, overseas students. Passionate about the wisdom and truth of scripture, and don't let anyone get away with abuse of scripture (including media personalities etc). I'll use scientific method and real logic to support scripture any time! Faith is the EVIDENCE of things unseen!<br />
Posted 26 January 2009 - 08:14 PM
Q1. (1 Timothy 3:2-12) What kind of leader do you believe Paul is indicating for us with the phrase "husband of one wife"? Why is a leader's family an important indicator of leadership potential or problems?
Wisdom is found in the fruit of one's life, the outcomes of all the policies and principles that have been applied, the success of one's children in becoming worshipful, faithful and brilliantly contributing adults. Paul wisely declares that if man can't manage his own family with success, how can he manage the church?
Managing to bring up the family soundly is a longterm proposition requiring wisdom in very many situations, and is a great proving ground for church leaders.
If a man has a broken marriage and remarried, then something has gone wrong in the wisdom area somewhere, and he has not proven himself in the wisdom category. He can be part of the church, but not an elder or a deacon. I agree with this wisdom. With all our broken families today we need the wisest of the wise in leadership, and this is a great technique for choosing them - very practical and simple to apply! It nutshells the selection of those who are able to both love and discipline the body of Christ, to get the balance right together with teaching, encouraging, directing and releasing.
Wisdom is found in the fruit of one's life, the outcomes of all the policies and principles that have been applied, the success of one's children in becoming worshipful, faithful and brilliantly contributing adults. Paul wisely declares that if man can't manage his own family with success, how can he manage the church?
Managing to bring up the family soundly is a longterm proposition requiring wisdom in very many situations, and is a great proving ground for church leaders.
If a man has a broken marriage and remarried, then something has gone wrong in the wisdom area somewhere, and he has not proven himself in the wisdom category. He can be part of the church, but not an elder or a deacon. I agree with this wisdom. With all our broken families today we need the wisest of the wise in leadership, and this is a great technique for choosing them - very practical and simple to apply! It nutshells the selection of those who are able to both love and discipline the body of Christ, to get the balance right together with teaching, encouraging, directing and releasing.
John 8:32 You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
#20
- Advanced Member
-
- Group: Members
- Posts: 112
- Joined: 22-September 08
Posted 26 January 2009 - 10:04 PM
'A husband of one wife' indicates faithfulness to his wife. The word 'husband' also indicates to me, love, protection and provision for his wife and children.
The man is first head of his family and if he leads them with Godly qualities and is firm and fair in a gentle manner, then he will be the same way when he leads the family of God. If his family do not seek his advice and try to keep a distance from him, - then it is likely that the congregation would do the same.
God Bless,
Greta
