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Q3. Worship and Reconciliation without Delay

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Q3. (Matthew 5:23-24) What's wrong with worshipping while a brother has something against us (or us against a brother, Mark 11:25)? ANSWER: if you suddenly remember your brother has “ought against” you, it is your God-given responsibility to put forth the effort as quickly as possible to make it right. Or if you have something against your brother you are to go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

What is the appropriate action for us to take?

ANSWER: But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

How far should we go to bring about reconciliation with someone whom we have offended?

ANSWER: God calls us to forgive as He forgives us so that we may be free of the bitterness that wants to hold us back. Forgiveness is never easy, but God will always help and guide us through the process. We are to forgive not seven times, but seventy-seven times. There is a road to peace and building others up. It doesn’t come naturally or happen on its own, it takes focused effort and leaning into the Spirit’s help.

Are there any situations that we shouldn't try to resolve?

ANSWER: Avoid starting sentences with, “You always,” and, “You never,” as in, “You always come home late!” or, “You never do what I want to do!” Here are some things to avoid if you want to be successful in discussing differences in opinion and resolving conflict.

1. Avoiding conflict
2. Being defensive
3. Over generalizing
4. Being right
5. Psychoanalyzing
6. Forgetting to listen
7. Playing the blame game
8. Trying to “win” the argument
9. Making character attacks
10. Stonewalling

[Are there any situations] that we can't resolve?

ANSWER: It’s a fact: you can’t avoid conflict, even if you try. And however it ends up finding you, you can’t always resolve it effectively. You can’t always resolve conflict, but you should always feel good about how you handle it. Here are some thoughts about handling a tough conflict successfully, even if you don’t reach your ultimate goal of resolving it.

You can’t always resolve conflict when you encounter it; you can’t even count on people being willing to engage you in resolving it every time you want to. Sometimes the best you can do is try to:

  1. Create space to share your emotional experience;
  2. You need the other side to engage in resolving conflict; and
  3. Remain open and respectful.
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