The love of God truelly led me to repent and to see that if I had of been the only one alive I would have crucified Jesus myself...I had trampled Him underfoot my whole life and did not believe a single word He had said or that He was even the Son of God...I was educated in a catholic convent, went to church every Sunday, regularly took the sacraments, taught catechism for ten years in a large Catholic Cathedral in Pietermaritzburg...yet I did not believe, I did not obey, I resented God's WORD Jesus...I would have killed him eventually...I did life my own way...I had truelly taken my independence from God. BUT He is such a merciful Father and He led me to see this all and when I did my heart was broken. I could not believe what I had done all my "good" life...what a pharisee I was. In our unregenerated condition we are all party to His crucifiction...our silence and apathy is a lethal as hammering in the nails...thrusting the spear into His heart. Jesus prayed for us, His Father heard Him and we have been saved by grace. Jesus died an undeserved death BUT if He had not prayed for us we would have died a very deserved death and been in hell this moment. We did commit the murder of God...JESUS IS GOD...the most terrible crime, the most undeserved crime. If Jesus had not prayed His innocent blood would have forever been on our hands.
