Q4. 'Fatherly' Disciple-Making

[Krissi]

Fatherly roles are not really fatherly, but adult. Just as, yesterday, we were told that caring for someone in a nurturing manner was "motherly," today we're told that being humble and admitting failure and sin are "fatherly." Frankly, I don't think either of these traits have much to do with gender, but rather have to do with personality. Having said this, perhaps these traits are more concentrated in one or the other gender. I don't know.

As a woman, I'm drawn to men AND women who are strong and wise. I respect experience. I very much respect learning from mistakes. So when I meet people who are honest about the bumps in life, I'm impressed, not so much by the survival aspects but by the changes that surviving engenders. So, men/fathers who are wise are also those who are transparent. 

Also, I'm drawn to men and women who are strong enough internally to encourage others. Right now, I have a few friends I'm having difficulty figuring out how to encourage without being overwhemingly directive, which is wrong. Encouragement isn't telling someone what to do, necessarily. It's stepping back and prayerfully asking God for His words in their situation. 

[JMK1319]

Fathers tend to be more direct and more likely to exhort a child to self discipline. Solemnly charging with all urgency the importance of conforming to God’s standards is a father’s role.  We need an urgency in declaring the gospel and discipling. That urgency is accompanied by a molding and modeling.  Disciples learn by example not just exhortation.  It’s interesting that paramithiazoma, consoling or comforting in Greek,  used for tragic circumstances like death is mentioned.  Don’t have that stiff upper lip, Paul writes.  Learn to comfort on that level.  

Again, I would argue that despite natural tendencies, experience trumps gender.  Both women and men are far more capable in upending traditional roles as a result of life experiences than natural tendencies.