Q4. Victory over Wrong Desires

[royk]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

For me the part of TV is simple, I almost never watch TV, at hm I don't.

Seeking to get close to God changes our desires; this is an excellent example.

We need to pray for those people who produce or act in these XXX videos, etc. They represent the lost, those others can be lost and not seek to view XXX stuff.

The point about triggers in our study guide is excellent. When we feel something could happen to turn thoughts to **** or fantasy, we can think of Jesus on the cross, dying for even this kind of scummy sin. Jesus who would save an adulteress from being stoned. Clearly he is showing us another dimension of true unconditional love. We pray and ask the holy spirit to make us more like Jesus, and for our friends or colleagues that might be addicted.

[Paul H]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

First; prayer, second; prayer; third; prayer!! As I go through life Jesus is standing right next to me the whole time. There is no need to imagine this, it is just a fact. Most of the time this is a great comfort and strength and frankly is what keeps me going some of the time, but there may be times when you might wish that Jesus wasn't there when temptation like this arises. He is there. If I would not be happy doing something with Jesus standing right beside me, then the liklihood is I should not be doing it and ultimately it will damage my relationship with Him. That sense of having Jesus right next to me and communicating with Him as a friend on a regular basis (as I would with any other friend who I was with) has helped me immensely when these temptations come along (as they will).

[home4ed]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect your self against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

I would counsel a person struggling with **** addictions by praying for and with them. I would help them get filters and lock on the screens in the home or purge their home. Beaches and pools aren't a necessity either. I would hold them accountable to be in the Word as well. Staying close to the Lord really helps with fighting temptation.

A while back I read an awesome book by Kay Arthur called " Sex According to God". It was a very good book and really puts sexuallity in perspctive. I really reccommend it for ANYONE.

[JamesDennis]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

Counseling would start:

First, with the biblical bases against pornographƴ. Lusṯ outside of the context of marriage is sin.

Second, by identifying the sources of pornographƴ of the counselee and practical ways of removing and avoiding these.

Third, regular monitoring of compliance. Since you are his counselor, he shall be accountable to you. If that is not possible, help him

identify another person with whom he can be accountable to.

Temptation over the internet can be warded off by:

1. Not using or avoid using the internet in private. Browse or use the internet only in public places.

2. Filtering off sites with sexual content using built-in filters in your computer.

3. Using a number of filters which you can avail of from the internet with guides on how these can be used.

Temptation over the beach or poolside can be avoided by going to these places with friends and family if you have no other choice

but to go to these places on social occasions.

Temptations over the TV is also avoided by watching the programs with friends and family or by not subscribing to channels with

sexually explicit contents.

[Melvin]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with ***********? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

First, I would determine whether or not he desired my input/counseling. If not, I would have to assume he was 'inviting' me to be involved and would decline with an admonishment to him concerning the extreme danger he was in.

If he wanted my 'take' on things and/or help, I would partially disqualify myself as being no expert in the matter and then we'd talk with him doing most of the talking. Most likely, I would refer him to a pastor I know who is very good at this and have him write down the 'avoidance' list similar to the one provided in this lesson. He would be in my daily prayers and I would be open to being his 'contact' for accountability.

I don't know that you can completely protect yourself from offensive material because it is so woven into the internet. I do have blocks set up and I don't deliberately follow links which I've learned are 'questionable'. If I am undesiredly 'served' something I never wanted of a **** nature, I quickly try to find the source email, send an email to them asking to be removed from their 'list' and blocking the address in my email.

Beach, Poolside, TV: You might as well just say 'life'. I look away or remove myself or remove 'it'. We must be individually 'steeled' against such simply because we ARE going to see it. The trick is to keep our hearts 'covered' under His grace.

[Highohfaith]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy?

The first counsel I would share is that he/she must arm himself with prayer, petition God's help for this problem. Arm himself with the full armor of God, he/she is in strong spiritual warfare with the devil! And must use every weapon, resource provided for him/her from God to fight and conquer this addiction. Nothing is impossible through God. Take responsibility for this sin (accountability) stop excusing it, or making excuses for it. i.e. I can't help myself, OR my father always had p*rnography when I was a kid, so I was raised believing it was okay. OR, it is acceptable to society ( worldly value- NOT A GODLY value) so, it must be okay for me to watch. OR, I was just curious, etc. etc. I could go on and on with the excuses people make. The point is, acknowledge your sin, repent from it, and remember God loves you, and if you slip, ask for forgiveness,repent, and move past it.

Get rid of all p*rnography from your home or computer, buy a program that blocks it. Purge yourself! Figure out your triggers and stay away from them, triggers are for shooting, destroying. So, know your trigger (s). Dictionary.com defines trigger as :

3.)anything, as an act or event, that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions.

Seek counsel, a Christian confidant, one whom will pray for you on your behalf and one whom you can turn to for Godly advice in times of temptation. Have a very firm conviction to stop doing what you are doing and rely on God's power to do the rest, turn to your accountability friend,and trust in God and you will conquer this addiction.

How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

By turning away from it, turning a blind eye. See something tempting, turn your head. If you can't go to the beach or pool without this temptation to l*st, don't go to the beach or pool. With me if I'm watching something on TV, I first check the ratings.I will not watch anything with an "R" rating. That being said, these too are misleading. What is acceptable to TV production and regulation of ratings is not always, and usually not, in line with God's teaching. So, if I'm watching something, as soon as something comes on which I feel God would deem unacceptable, I turn it off, not withstanding violence as well. I don't always get it "right", it is a real challenge. I'm working on being much more aware and taking more responsibly for what I'm viewing on TV. Another thing to really watch out for are "racy" commercials. I don't think commercials are regulated at all, there is one in particular that comes to mind from a very well know woman's evening 'attire' and 'underwear' co. that I deem totally p*rnographic and have written the company about it and refuse to watch any shows that the company sponsors. The best films are old films. But, be very aware that even those have insidious, underlying sexual content which one must be aware of. One in particular that comes to mind is Suddenly,Last Summer,(1959) with Elizabeth Taylor and Montgomery Clift, which has a totally, insidious ( I didn't even realize what it was about till rehashing it later) plot racked with a homosexuality and a violet theme. TURN IT OFF is my rule of thumb. Nothing on, read, and to really be safe, read God's word. It's engaging, and lovely, and yes, even entertaining. Again, another Dictionary.com definition: ( I'm including because some of you may misunderstand what I mean by entertaining)

4.)

to hold in the mind; harbor; cherish.

Rule of thumb, TURN AWAY, AND TURN TO GOD!

[Raph]

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with ***********?

A brother who shared with me that he had trouble with pornograph, I will counsel him by telling him that, it needs his determination and God's grace to cleanse himself. He should then pray earnestly to God that he receives His grace in order to free himself from such evil.

How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet?

I can protect myself against temptation over the internet by asking the internet service provide to block all pornographic materials.

At the beach or poolside?

At the beach or poolside, I have to leave the place.

With your TV?

With my TV I should, where applicable, block all channels with pornographic elements. If not possible to block, I should know such channels and refrain from switching to them.

[johnj]

There's an old quip - Don't think about a pink elephant! Well, so much for controling my mind.

But back to the question. A first thought is knowledge. We may need to first understand that God's desire for us is elsewhere. There is no place for sexual desire outside of marriage in His plan for us. It's wrong in His eyes.

Also, to know that He sees our most private thoughts might be sobering. The Lord is there when our eyes and minds wander. We should be as concerned about being caught in an unholy thought as we are about being caught in an unholy act. I would suggest both are the same to God.

And, our only hope might be in prayer, repentance and forgiveness. If our hearts are right with the Lord and we ask for forgiveness with true repentance, He will surely give us strength. It's achieving the point of true repentance that may be the stumbling block.

[tgandy]

This is tough.  First of all I would explain the difference between *********** and a healthy sex life if married.  Prayer is most important and repenting and asking for forgiveness as *********** is a sin.  Talking out the problem and immersing both the viewer and the counselor in scripture and teaching them to channel these desires toward something positive.  We can protect ourselves from the temptations of *********** on the internet, pool, beachside or TV by simply turning the channel, xing out of a site or turning your head.  Praying Bible verses is also a way to distract yourself from things you really do not need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

[DebLam3teach]

If a brother confided with me his struggle with ***********, I would emphasize that he needs to confess this habit as sin.  Then, I would encourage him to seek Christian counsel as he struggled to overcome the addiction.  There are also a lot of church support groups for this like Celebrate Freedom or Celebrate Recovery.  In the meantime, daily prayer and Bible reading is a must. That will strengthen his inner man. He must get rid of anything at home or work that is pornographic; block certain t.v. channels and put a filter on the internet. Putting the computer in a public place in the house is also helpful, as well as avoiding the use of the computer late at night or alone. Avoid the beach or pool at peak times, and bring something to do or read when the eyes begin to wander. If there still is a struggle, then leave the pool or beach.  Jesus said to take immediate and thorough action when struggling with a sin.  Leaving a situation that causes us to sin is a mature, Christian response.

[Eager Bver]

How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV? 

 

I would not counsel a person who had trouble with ***********.  I would encourage them to seek spiritual counseling from a pastor.  I would encourage them to realize that the enemy is seeking to destroy them and that God is ever loving and kind wanting them to be free from that bondage; he is able and want to deliver them but they must go to him, repenting and seeking him with their all.  They must not give up, victory will come.

 

You can protect yourself against temptation over the internet by restricting those sites.  Don't go to the beach or poolside.  Restrict or block TV stations.

[JoanG]

I would tell him that **** is an addiction like alcohol, drugs or gambling. And it is almost impossible to fight it by yourself. However, I would stress that I would be willing to help him the best that I can.you need to build in safety nets to catch yourself in. You need to pray and keep your heart and mind on God. You need to build in fire walls. You need to keep your eyes off those things that cause you to sin. Personally stay away from the beaches and the pools. And only watch certain channels on your tv.

[Old Jerry]

It would be very hard to share with a brother that had trouble with ***********. All I could say is that you need to turn to God. If we keep our mind on God then they wouldn’t want to look at a woman in **** or want to look at the ***********.

[Paul Hodge]

Before entering adolescence my favorite pastime was going to the movie theater for the afternoon show. I would enjoy watching the action and adventure portrayed in Western Movies. Then there were the mythological and legendary movies about past heroes fighting evil and always winning. I would eat popcorn, drink sodas and eat ice ream. I would hang out all week to do the same over again.

Little did I know at the time that the pleasure I got from the movies was all in my brain. Yes that’s right the human brain has a reward system made up of the mesolimbic dopamine pathway. Its main function is to flood the brain’s reward system with dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter present in regions of the brain that regulate movement, emotion, motivation, and feelings of pleasure. Once a person activates this pathway the behavior is reinforced and the person over time can become addicted or the behaviour becomes habitual. In other words the brain can hijack our reasoning to gratify itself.

I am giving you this introduction to the brain’s rewards system because this is one way to “know thyself” and to avoid *********** becoming an addiction that will eventually make a once healthy person dysfunctional. Reality itself can become skewed.

So what I am suggesting is that a person would be better off if they chose alternative pleasure activities, that have wholesome outcomes, and have a high level of sociability, to take the place of ***********. The **** watcher is always cut off from others and keeps to themselves - not healthy.

There are plenty of excellent Internet sites that are attempting to help young men/women break the addictive cycle of being imprisoned by ****. This unhealthy addition will slowly deteriorate the moral values that are needed to be successful in healthy couple relationships that are 100 times more rewarding.

There are new and startling facts about the harm *********** can cause both in the short and long term. Look around for the right counselor to get help and sound advice. In the case of adolescents and young male adults the counselor should preferably be male and a strong Christian.

Understand that when Jesus is telling us no to do something he is saying that there is something much better if we chose to follow his teachings.

Finally pray for the grace and strength to set yourself free.

[Karen11]

On 12/19/2007 at 10:11 PM, Pastor Ralph said:

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV?

I first would tell him that God loves him very much, that he will forgive him, I would also tell him to seek Christian council.

I don't go on any sites that are R rated x rated and if somewhere there is advertising I quickly get off that site, I have no desire,  Praise God  to look at or watch ****.

With my Tv I don't have any HBO's or another extra payed shows.

[MosesSole]

On 12/19/2007 at 10:11 PM, Pastor Ralph said:

Q4. (Matthew 5:28) Sex is very closely tied to our core sense of person. This means that as we are healed in our view towards sex, it goes a long way toward making us whole inside. How would you counsel a brother who shared with you that he had trouble with pornogr*phy? I had a friend who had a profound obsession with ****. At the time we were in our 20s, just out of college. I laughed about it and just told him to stop leaving those movies in my house because I didn't want anyone to think I was watching them.  

If my brother said he had an addiction to it, I would just call his wife and let her deal with it. I'm a woman and I can't think of my brother in that way. Ick.  

How can you protect yourself against temptation over the Internet? At the beach or poolside? With your TV? I'm a woman and I honestly don't feel these "temptations." I have seen them every now and then and I honestly don't know how men get so excited over it. Most of it is so nasty and fake; it's very hard to get aroused by it. But I suppose this is the beauty of being a woman; we're more faithful and loyal than our male counterparts because we don't have those sexual hormones that give us those quick and lustful highs. 

  

 

[Irmela]

4.1 As a woman, I would assume that he had come to me because he saw me as a mother or sister and I would encourage him to speak to a man (maybe a pastor, or someone real close to the Lord, whom he can be accountable to) alternately to join a programme like Covenant Eyes.

In James 5:16 we afterall read  .... So confess your offenses (sins) to one another and pray for one another so you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man/person is very powerful (availeth much).

I would point out that the first step for healing of addiction is repentance (which he had now taken). Calling the sin what it is, viz. adultery of the heart and acknowledging it as a spiritual addiction is very important.

I would further encourage him to get rid of anything in his home, which is actually leading and encouraging him to ***********, i.e. anything which triggers the addiction.

Point out Scriptures of "forgiveness of sin" eg. Prov 28:13 .... One who covers up his transgressions will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them finds mercy. 

Encourage him to accept God's grace and forgiveness and also to forgive himself.

I would suggest a time of fasting together with whoever he has chosen to be accountable to. Further I will encourage him to stay in the Word.

4.2  Do not use the internet.

If you have to, I guess there is some kind of blocking system which can be put in place, for stopping the **** sites to appear on the computer. (I do not know how to do this but have heard that they do put a programme in place to prevent children from accessing the **** sites) Also as an accountability practise one can see which sites have been "visited" by you.

4.3 Do not go to the beach or pool-side on your own.

4.4 Choose to watch TV programs which you would be comfortable to watch with the children