Q4. The Self-Centered Leader

[Krissi]

Diotrephes is my old minister!  Seriously.  I left that church.

It's a bit like walking a tightrope to be a strong leader without being overbearing, to have an honest self-assessment without being taken in by one's own abilities. Most pastors fail. For that matter, most Christians fail. But hopefully, as they mature in Him, their ups-and-downs aren't as extreme, and slowly they learn to tamp down or temper their worst attributes and tendencies. The Holy Spirit bring such faults to light and also changes the heart in such a way that it's possible to fight one's worst tendencies.

I have problems with pride but not a controlling spirit. It's a constant battle to be truly humble, not feign it. There's a fake humility -- humble-proud -- that some Christians put on, perhaps because they're self-conscious about their own pride.  I fight this. God has humbled me, too, which helps!

[Rob Mc.]

(3 John 9-10) What character flaws does Diotrephes exhibit?

John describes him as: self-centered, wanting to be the exclusive authority, domineering, controlling, mean-spirited and a slanderer.  Basically, he is malicious, to the point of now being an ineffective leader because of these attributes.

Can a person be a strong pastoral leader without developing these traits?  

No, they need kindness, be outward-looking, have humility, and most importantly, focus on Christ’s teachings and the blueprint for leading his church.

If you have tendencies in yourself towards pride and a controlling spirit, how can you fight against them?

Pray that God raises up my humility, helps me discover random acts of kindness that I can do for others, and to always look outside myself instead of inwardly.