discernment makes one discover what is best and in this knowledge,one can act in a way that is pleasing to god which is being able to do what is blameless and pure.in so doing,it gives back glory,honor and praise to our god.
selfishness causes one to please only oneself rather than the object-the person of such love.this makes it difficult to understand the other person's needs which prevents love from developing or progressing into a more meaningful and deeper relationship which i call "committment"to the person involved.
when everything works,there is a tendency not to look for more ,thus it is not surprising to be content in such a given situation.this then may fail someone from more aspirations to something that could have been what is the best.