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Q2. (Ephesians 6:4) What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart?

The amplified version says "Do not irritate and provoke your children to anger, do not exasperate them to resentment". In my case, Mom was cold, unable to show love or affection, shaming, disapproving, more worried about what the neighbors would think, than what damage was done to her children. When she beat me, threatening to cripple and kill me at age 4, I completely lost heart. Dad was physically abusive, verbally abusive, using death threats to maintain iron clad control, violent and raging...the word "love" was never once heard in our home. All of these experiences in a constant atmosphere of fear and terror caused me to lose heart, lose myself. I grew up believing I was alone, abandoned, unlovable, and without resources to live life.....BUT...all of this led me to seek the ONE WHO IS THE PERFECT PARENT, and....

What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

Praise God, He has re-parented me using the principles He commands earthly parents to follow in rearing children...tender training, unconditional love, discipline, His wise counsel, and admonition and teaching His Word. As He has healed and delivered me from 20 years of abuse and neglect, He has enabled me to forgive and love my parents, and to not repeat their "mistakes" while rearing my own children who have grown up in relationship with the Lord, knowing they are dearly loved.

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  • 1 month later...

Q2. (Ephesians 6:4)

What kind of behaviour by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart?

What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

Stubborn behaviour and forcing their point of view on the child without due consideration are things that can embitter a child. Also unreasonable demands and undue harshness can cause a child to lose heart. Rather a parent should be encouraging and building a child up in the Lord. Training means discipline and correction. There should be strict discipline, with love, in the home. Child-training should be

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Ephesians 6:4 What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart?

Purposely provoking a child can cause a child to be disheartened. Emotionally torturing a child is abuse just as much as physcially beating them. I have been in the presence of both. That is why being there for kids is important. I was lucky to have a high school football coach who believed in me. He was no push-over though. He was a tough, hard working, no non-sense man. He gave you a chance no matter where you came from or how much your father gave to the booster club. Each year he asked us to go to church as a team. His mentoring helped lead me to Christ. He gave me something in that difficult tranition time from adolescence to adulthood. He helped me to believe I had something special in me. We never know who will be a second father or surrogate mother, maybe it will be one of us for another disheartened child.

What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

Training and instruction involve maintaining discipline, diligence, teaching, instruting, showing, giving responsibilities and then supporting them as the child learns to keep them faithfully. Warning and admonition are included along with correction. The important point is our service as parents is to Christ as our children belong to God.

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  • 6 months later...

Nagging at kids, and focusing on their mistakes at the expense of their successes, can embitter them. As my daughter sometimes says to me, "Everything doesn't have to be perfect!" Helping kids figure out what gifts and passions God gave them and encouraging them in those avenues is also key. I have met kids whose parents have told them what instruments to play and what sports to join. Understandably, they grow up embittered that they were not able to be themselves. Training and instruction in the Lord--not easy! It involves constant prayer and seeking of wisdom from other trusted believers. My parenting experience has been an enormous work in progress. Without the mutual support my husband and I give each other and trusted advice from believing friends--wow! We would be a sinking ship! And nothing like parenting can reveal one's own deep sins of selfishness and anger. It is a transforming process for the parents as much as it is for the kids.

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  • 3 months later...

Q2. (Ephesians 6:4) What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart? What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

Being mistreated, talked down to, getting abused. Alot of prayer, guidance from Christ, help from fellow Christians, and staying in the word of God. ALOT OF PATIENCE!

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  • 4 months later...

Q2. (Ephesians 6:4) What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart? What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

1. What kind of behavior by fathers,(mothers,for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart?

Any type of behavior that provokes, irritates and bring down and child and cuse them to lose heart. Also, professing to be a christian and doing things that is not Christ like.

2. What do you think the"training and instructions of the Lord" involves?

The training involves nourishing them, being a good example for them and letting them share with you their feelings about God and being a Christian.

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  • 7 months later...

Q2. (Ephesians 6:4) What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart? What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

Behavior like disciplining a child in anger can embitter or cause a child to lose heart.

"Training and instruction of the Lord" involves maintaining discipline, diligence, teaching, instructing, showing, giving responsibilities, and then supporting children as they learn to keep them faithfully.

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Q2. (Ephesians 6:4) What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart? What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

Behavior like disciplining a child in anger can embitter or cause a child to lose heart.

"Training and instruction of the Lord" involves maintaining discipline, diligence, teaching, instructing, showing, giving responsibilities, and then supporting children as they learn to keep them faithfully.

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  • 1 year later...

I think the kind of behavior by fathers that can embitter or cause a child to lose heart is to bagger them when they have done something wrong and never affirming them when they do good things.

I think that the “training and instruction of the Lord” involves doing daily bible studies and praying with them. Telling them how to but the words in the bible into practice in the real world.

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  • 1 year later...

Q2. (Ephesians 6:4) What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart? What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

Behavior by fathers and mothers that can embitter a child to lose heart can, as an example, by not training or correcting at all, for fear of hurting the child's feelings and allowing the child to always have his or her way. To lose heart because they have been threatened with severe violence if not following instructions (this does not include a spanking when needed); by belittling the child by telling then how worthless they are and will amount to nothing worthwhile.

by bring up a child in the ways of the Lord, by ensuring they have instruction in the word of the Lord. We are to provide shelter, food, clothing and an education for the child. As a gift the Lord has given the children to us to care for and raise, as adults no one knows what the Lord has planned for them after they grow up.          

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  • 1 year later...

Parents can cause a child to lose heart if they constantly belittle them. If the parents are over critical, the child will feel like they cannot do anything right. There are also parents that favor one child over the others. Parents who want to raise up their children the right way will use the bible as a guide book. They will read it together everyday. They will explain it to their children. They will pray together and attend worship services together.

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  • 2 years later...
On 9/15/2006 at 1:57 PM, Pastor Ralph said:

Q2. (Ephesians 6:4) What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart? What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

Breaking a child's spirit. not to embitter them.

The nurture and admonition of the Lord,.

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  • Pastor Ralph changed the title to Q55. Fathers
  • 2 months later...

Q55. (Ephesians 6:4) What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart? What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves? 
Stubborn behaviour and forcing their point of view on the child without due consideration are things that can embitter a child. Also, unreasonable demands and undue harshness can cause a child to lose heart. Rather a parent should be encouraging and building a child up in the Lord. Training means discipline and correction. There should be strict discipline, with love, in the home. Child-training should be “in the Lord,” that is, carried out in accordance with His will as revealed in His Word, and by living the example of Christian life and conduct. 
 

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Q55. (Ephesians 6:4) What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart? What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

Parents can embitter their children when they angrily descend on erring children without pity. I recall an incident that made me caned my son angrily in my early Christian life and regretted afterwards. It is interesting that I did not have such bitter experience with my two girls.

Now as a grandfather, I treat the grand children when they around for holidays, more lovingly by teaching and training by correction.
 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Paul uses the terms "breaking the spirit" rather than "breaking their hearts,"  "crushing their emotions" or whatever. Why spirit? How can a spirit be broken? I can see how a child's self-vision and expectations can be crushed by an overweening parent, but it seems that one's spirit is given by God and should be invincible to human "breaking." I don't understand this.

Also, children are given a positive command, something TO DO: Obey.  Parents, in contrast, are given a negative command, something NOT TO DO: don't break their spirit. The logical way to write this would be to give two negative (or two positive) commands, something like, "children ... don't rebel" ... "parents ... don't crush their spirit even if rebellious." Clearly, Paul was writing off the top of his head and these were the two things he first thought about in parent/child relationships.

It may reveal Paul's own tendencies. Was Paul a father??

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 9/15/2006 at 1:57 PM, Pastor Ralph said:

Q55. (Ephesians 6:4) What kind of behavior by fathers (or mothers, for that matter) can embitter or cause a child to lose heart? What do you think the "training and instruction of the Lord" involves?

Do not embitter your children - discourage, put them down, belittle them, provoke them or make them angry.

Be an example to them, bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, maintaining discipline, diligence, teaching, instructing, showing, giving responsibilities, and then supporting them as they learn to keep them faithfully.

 

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  • 1 month later...

Speaking in an angry or demeaning way.  Big problems can begin when a.child is alienated intentionally or not intentionally.  Parents who know who they are in Christ will act in a different fashion in inaccordance with all that Apostle Paul has laid out in the letter to the Ephesians.

I have been blessed to be raised in a Christian home.   I was trained in the habits of piety, church-going, and religious activity.    I was not forced to be a diligent Bible student, but my parents fostered my desires to pursue religious endeavors.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The kind of behavior that can embitter or cause a child to lose heart is that you are always trying to correct them and nagging them. You humiliate them in from of their friends. The “training and instruction of the Lord” involves us teaching them the bible.  

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