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8. Resting


Pastor Ralph

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Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion? How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

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  • 1 month later...

I know that this is a little off topic..(but if you listen carefully,you will discover it's not)

A song that came to me in the night...to share with someone who needs a reminder of what it means to have a Christian brother or sister (mother or father) praying for them somewhere in the world...for those with a little bluegrass in their blood...a song  Erase all the miles and a prayer

Songs of Ascent (Psalms 120-134), by Dr. Ralph F. Wilson
Available in PDF, and Kindle formats only US $2.99.
 and a 

Lord, as I look back, so much of my activity was self-effort, long on hard work and short on prayer. Help me, help us to achieve the balance of hard work with trust so that we can be co-workers with you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen

Across the miles

a Christian brother,

Wayne

Edited by Shuttlehall
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i thank you LORD for work. I thank you LORD for the fruits of labor.  I thank you LORD for our four children, who are now adults, Nicholas, John, Ariana and Neil.  I thank you LORD for providing them work.  I thank you LORD for Forgiveness of my sin.  I thank you LORD for Mercy.  I thank you LORD for Grace.  I thank you LORD for Jesus Christ who died for my sin.  I thank you LORD for my home, my family, my Church.  Thank you for Blessings.  Thank you for the promise of a New Earth.  Amen

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If we work without trust we are doing it to advance our own lives. But if we work with trust then we are doing for the Lord. Trust without work is an illusion because then we think that God will provide everything that we need and we don’t need to work for it and that will make us lazy. We can achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest by working when required and resting after we have performed that work. Especially taking at least one day off a week so we can get that rest. Children is a “heritage” because they will more than likely get what you leave behind. They are a “reward” because they can then carry on the work of their choice.

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On 7/19/2020 at 12:28 PM, Pastor Ralph said:

Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion? How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

The key to this psalm, Psalm 127. and the questions above  by Pastor Ralph, is that all human efforts are in vain unless they have God's blessing. This principle is applied to four areas: Building a house (v .1a), guarding a city (v1.b), working long hours (v.2), and having children (vv. 3-5). It is possible to accomplish all of these  things purposefully and with eternal value with God's blessings. The Psalm includes, incidentally, two practical reasons for blessed with children from God: they bring you joy and they protect you (v. 5).

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Why is work without trust inadequate?

I have to kick myself every now and again, because I can get so engulfed in my work that I forget God. I have learnt over the years (40 years as a civil engineer and 36 years as a born again Christian) that I can get a lot more done, win more work when needed and meet the right people at the right time if I hand it to God, trust God. I labour in vain otherwise. Work is a good thing and whilst I would have loved to have been a golf pro, just like life, work is what you let God make it. Let go and let God. Like life, work is to be enjoyed, and with God it is a joy, all things are a joy, no matter the circumstance. I have loved working from home these last 6 months and been mightily blessed. Praise God!

Why is trust without work an illusion?

All the best thoughts and intentions and prayers are useless without work. Faith with no works is dead.

How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest?

What is good rest. A peaceful sound sleep, waking happily ready for the next day? 6 hours, 8 hours? It's different for each of us, but I recall someone saying you can get rest every moment of the day, don't be anxious for anything, but rest cradled in Jesus'  arms as you go about your day. This is my prayer for myself, my wife, my children, my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a "heritage" and a "reward"?

Heritage, that sounds like something that lives on into the ages. God said let their be light, then not much later said  be fruitful and multiply. We hear of the Israelites (and Gentiles) talking of Abraham, I am his heritage so to speak, having Jewish heritage.

My mum, my mentor, literally threw her mantle with her last breath to me, like Elijah threw his mantle to Elisha. My mum was thrown the mantle of her father just before his passing, the last time she saw him he asked that she sit on his lap. A bit awkwaard as she was a young teenager, not a little girl, but she did and he reached to his bible and said 'girlie, take this and follow what it says and all will be good'. That young girl followed the Lord all her life, a shining light to people she touched.

Reward, could be a thank you, an encouragement, a gold star for work well done, a smile. All rewards give us a good feeling we enjoy. Children give us joy, for God made us man and woman for a reason - to multiply and have children - to form families loved of God and loving each other in the love of God, like no other love. To see a child born, the miracle and awe of birth - for me, my first born still born and my wife told she probably will never have children in the same breath as, 'oh, look here at this image of your baby who is dead in your womb'. My God! Then on the morning of being induced into labour our pastors visit the hospital and pray; I remember my wife been told 'and your nest shall be restored!' Later that morning we were told later the whole church prayed. Megan was born about 10 hours later, so tough. Some time later my wife had a curette to remove any remains of tissue in her womb and the doctor was amazed, he could not believe what he felt in that womb, formerly misformed in the image we saw in his office. Now restored! Matthew was born next, a gift from God is his name, and I held that baby cradled in my arms, wit my wife by my side, telling the church the miracle that was Matthew and thanking them for their prayers on the day my firstborn Megan was born.

Matthew is a reward. Madelaine and Annaleise who followed are rewards.

Now guys, I would like your prayers to reconnect me with my children. Like the prodigal son, I want to be that father running to hug my son Matthew.

 

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As a Christian we must work in tandem with God. Our lives should be full of hard work, good deeds , trust, prayer and rest. 
We must seek God in prayer each day for every circumstance of our lives, but then we must trust Him for the outcome. If we don’t trust God we will be depending on our own efforts, this will leave us working harder and harder with little rest time, and little time for God.We will makes mistakes as we will not have God leading and guiding us .

If we trust God to provide all our needs and make no effort ourselves to work or pray, we will soon be unable to put food on our table and keep a roof over our heads.Proverbs19v15 Laziness brings on deep sleep and the shiftless man goes hungry.

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Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion? How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

If I am humble & grateful, then I know I am nothing & can do nothing without the Lord. He gives me special talent, but it is my responsibility to use it appropriately. 

I've heard it said that God can move mountains but He expects me to bring the shovel. He may answer my prayers, but expects me to put forth the effort. He expects me to carry my part of the load.

It might be helpful to examine motives. Am I working long hours because I am avoiding my spouse or my family obligations? Or is my ego telling me that no-one else can do this job? Am I reluctant to to ask for help believing I will look weak, imperfect or incompetent? Maybe after some prayer & soul searching, I might conclude that I don't need to work this long or this hard. Perhaps after this awareness, I can begin making changes and put God in charge of my calendar.

My Bible translation (NLT) Psalm 127: 3 "Children are a gift from the Lord"   I have always felt like my children were a gift from God. In their youth, I delighted in their play. Later, as I am aging, they are a source of comfort, support & security.

 
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As a Christian we must work in tandem with God. Our lives should be full of hard work, good deeds , trust, prayer and rest. 
We must seek God in prayer each day for every circumstance of our lives, but then we must trust Him for the outcome. If we don’t trust God we will be depending on our own efforts, this will leave us working harder and harder with little rest time, and little time for God.We will makes mistakes as we will not have God leading and guiding us .

If we trust God to provide all our needs and make no effort ourselves to work or pray, we will soon be unable to put food on our table and keep a roof over our heads.Proverbs19v15 Laziness brings on deep sleep and the shiftless man goes hungry.

For the Jewish people it is very important to have children to carry the family name on, so children are a heritage and a blessing. They bring much joy at all stages of life. As the parents grow older the children should be a help to their parents. Children are a reward from God because having children is not something we can do unless God permits conception and birth to take place. We are totally dependant on God to reward us with the blessing of having a child born to us.

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On 7/19/2020 at 9:28 AM, Pastor Ralph said:

Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion? How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

1. In my early days as a new believer, I was "doing" to gain acceptance with the Lord and to please others. I heard lots of "do and do" sermons and it was several years before Colossians1:10 revealed to me that in Christ, I am already fully pleasing and acceptable to Him and my service (Col 2:10) is to flow from Him (on the inside where the Godhead, Father,  Son and Holy Spirit resides in me, outward "bearing fruit in every good work" in obedience and joy to others. To do otherwise is to produce "works of the flesh" or "wood, hay and stubble" produced in pride (or fear) apart from Him, which "at that day" will be tested and burned to ashes.

(Eph 2:10) tells me that I am God's own "handiwork" recreated in Christ Jesus that I may do those "works which God predestined" or preplanned  for me to walk in."  That is so  comforting, that I don't have to "drum up" good works....I am just to stay tuned to Him and He will direct my path and will show me what and where I am to walk!  I've learned in the morning to ask Him to direct my steps....and my stops, and I'm always amazed at where He leads....one day it was to stop and pray for a sick, homeless man with a disgusting open sore on his hand, weeping green pus. I chatted with him and asked if he would allow me to pray with him.....he said yes, and God healed him! Every day has become an adventure and is a very restful way to live, knowing that as I follow where He leads, I'm in His perfect will and plan for me. 

2. Trust without work is indolence....uselessness in the Kingdom of God. He tells us to "go"...but at HIS leading, we are to follow.

3. Children are a gift and a blessing from God. Not everyone has that blessing, and many (60 million babies) have been sacrificed on the "altars" of planned parenthood. Only God knows what blessing those little ones should have become in this world. His plan for life on earth revolved around "family" and children are meant to bring joy, unity, and growth to the family structure. They're meant to be a comfort to parents in their old age, and parents are meant to guide and help to shape children in Godliness and faith. ( I won't go into how we've massacred His pattern)

 

 

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Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). 
Why is work without trust inadequate? 
Why is trust without work an illusion? 
How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? 
Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a "heritage" and a "reward"?  

It is the Lord who gives us the ability to earn a living (Deut 8:18). We may think that it’s our planning, skill, and hard work that has made us successful, but this is not the case. Without the blessing of the Lord, our hard work is in vain. Jesus said “apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). This blessing will only be made available to us if we are obedient to the Lord. Without obedience there is no trust; for it is only when we trust Him that we are obedient. Also, if we only trust and there is no work then all is an illusion. When we act in our own strength all is an illusion – no substance. But, when we bring God into everything, our lives take on substance and meaning. It is not what we do for God through our own resources, but what He does through us by His mighty power. We all need adequate rest and time to recharge our batteries and for spiritual refreshment. Our work should be a blessing we enjoy and not a burden we endure. This will only occur when we are doing God’s will. On the other hand, if we are really yielded to the Lord and living for His glory, He can give us gifts while we are sleeping which we could never obtain through long, weary hours of labour without Him. "For so He gives His beloved sleep." Be careful to maintain a balance: Work while trusting God, and also rest while trusting Him. Children are a gift/reward from God, a blessing, and they are a precious heritage that makes the home a home in the true sense. But this is only true if they have been brought up in a home where the Lord has been honoured and obeyed. If not, they can become an enormous heartache and a burden. 
 

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On 7/19/2020 at 12:28 PM, Pastor Ralph said:

Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion?  I think in order for us to accomplish the best results in everything we do in our lives, we must first accept God's help. When you trust in the LORD, you are allowing Him to set a steady foundation for which to build a home and raise a family in. Without recognizing the need to lean into God's helping hand, you may never find security. I know sometimes we go about our day as our responsibilities require, forgetting to seek guidance from God. But those who trust and put faith in the LORD often consult with Him through the day about the best way to get things done. To build this kind of a relationship with God Almighty is to build a secure, steady ground for you to move on. To live without acknowledging Him is to say that you don't need God, and that's like refusing a fortress in lieu of a house built on cobwebs. 

How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest?  Most of us assume hard work equates to good earnings but the metaphor here that even if you can provide for your family through the hard work, it's difficult to enjoy the fruit of your labor if you are too tired to enjoy it. Instead work hard, get enough rest-- God will provide.  "It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil;  for he gives to his beloved sleep." (Psalm 127:2)  

Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?  Children represent the growing love between a husband and wife, thus they are the reward in the home. It's a double blessing that they are heritage for which to carry on the family name and business. 

 

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On 7/19/2020 at 12:28 PM, Pastor Ralph said:

Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion? How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

a. Work without trust is inadequate because it is all self effort and does not accomplish a good result -you are overtired, you make mistakes.   No one can do it like God.  It reminds me of times when I water my garden myself with the hose - results - flowers a little perky but doesn't last too long.  When God brings His wonderful showers, its like showers of blessings because flowers grow and inch or two, ground is soaked, flowers are nourished and don't have to water for awhile.  

b. You can trust God, but if you do nothing, nothing will happen.  Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.  (James 2:17)

c.  Work hard, but know when to quit. If you did your best when you have strength, you will have satisfaction in what you have done.  Don't overdo.  God is our provider. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matt. 6:33)  The Lord gives His beloved sleep.  Your strength will be refreshed and restored for the next work day.  

d.  Children are both a heritage and a reward because the Lord entrusts them to us - we love them, teach them values, bring them up in the Lord, train them, they return the favor of blessing, nurturing, and carrying for us in our senior years.  Treasure them.  The reward pays off in love, peace and contentment.

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Children are both a reward and a heritage.  In the beginning it is difficult to care for them and bring them up right.  Children are an extension of you.  You hope in latter years that they will look after you.  In some cultures it is understood that children will look after their parents in old age.  When they are babies they are dependent on you and need you to care for them.   You protect them from harm growing up.   You hope as adults they will in turn protect and watch out for you - the parents.!

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On 7/19/2020 at 12:28 PM, Pastor Ralph said:

Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion? How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

When our focus is on work, work, and more work to accomplish the things we need and want in this life, we usually end up doing more harm to ourselves rather than good. And we do this when we look to ourselves to provide for us.  As this lesson teaches, there needs to be a balance of work and rest.  I believe that as we labour, we need to trust God for the increase.  We can see work without trust is inadequate for we can work ourselves into the ground and have nothing to show for it, but when we work and trust God, He blesses the labour of our hands.  He wants us to put Him first,  "Seek first the kingdom of ..."  If we obey Him we will reap the good of the land. 

Trust without work is not only an illusion, but laziness.  God can only bless what we put our hands to do.  So we can trust from now until kingdom come, if we don't work we won't be able to reap.  Faith without works is dead.  If we are faithful, God promised to bless what we do.

We can achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest when we do what we can and trust God for the rest.  

I think the psalmist stresses that children are both a "heritage" and a "reward" because: 1. heritage means that they are 'the portion' given to parents by the Lord; inherited from the Lord; they are an inheritance from the Lord.  2.  reward means that when the children are grown they can now care for their elderly parents, watch out for them so that they are not taken advantage of.  When they were young, the parents took  care of them, fed them, clothed them, nursed them back to health when they had been sick.  Now the parents get to relax and take it easy. At least some do.

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Why is work without trust inadequate?

We can do what we can to establish homes and security for our families.  Without God all of that is done in vain.  God knows what's best for us.  We need to trust in the Lord in all aspects of our life and that he is working on our behalf.

Why is trust without work an illusion?

Having good work ethics is important. Without trust, it is all in vain.

How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest?

There is a time to work and a time to sleep.  Trusting in the Lord to meet our needs will help us to sleep at night. 

Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

Our children are a gift from God and they are our future.

 

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Because then we think that it all depends on us. We forget about God and what He has promised to do.

Because we need to provide and protect our family,This is what God expects us to do. We are required to be stewards of all He gives us.

We can learn to work hard to do what we can and leave the rest in God's hands. 

Because they can defend us before our enemies in the court. They can give us support and encouragement.

 

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Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate?

Work without trust in God means we are trusting in ourselves to be acceptable to God which is idolatry.  Work without trust means WE want to be seen and thanked rather than God being seen and glorified.  No trust, no strength so God's results emerge.

Why is trust without work an illusion?

It develops false hope based on works rather than faith.  The devil is a master of illusion, causing a person to believe HE/SHE is responsible for the good results of good works.  Any "work" that is actually GOOD, must be initiated and empowered by God not self.

How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest?

By surrendering our all to Christ, depending on the Holy Spirit to direct our steps and energize us to He produces His results through our lives.  Practicing the presence of God as did Brother Lawrence, brings joy to the labor and not toil.  Yes we get tired serving.  Even Jesus got tired.  We rest knowing that God has been at work through us accomplishing His will.  It is a sweet sleep, leaning back into the arms of God.

Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a "heritage" and a "reward"?

I think of our own daughter, not planned from a timing standpoint but very much wanted.  She continues the legacy of faith with her 5 boys and husband.  Children are eternal so godly children are both a present heritage and a future reward in that they carry on the faith to future generations.  My wife and I have been very blessed in having a godly daughter, son in law, with the 4 oldest grandsons knowing Christ and the 5th is just 3.  Our boast is in Christ alone for HIS work in them and through them.  They are very involved in missions in Canada, extending to Africa and Haiti.

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Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion? How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

When we choose to do things on our own; and not ask the Lord's blessing for them we will utterly fail and we will fall flat on our faces in the end because we are doing it in our our strength not His. We must be willing to partner with the Lord in every work He gives us to do no matter how great or small it is truly. For when it comes to the Lord's work He has a plan for how He wants His work done and we must be willing to follow it. It is an illusion because we are not relying on God like we should and we do not have the works of faith that the book of James speaks of. We can achieve it by trusting the Lord to provide for us and protect us when we need it. I believe that the Psalmist stated that because of the fact that when we choose to obey the Lord;  He chooses to give us the desires of our heart. 

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Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127).

Q. Why is work without trust inadequate?

A. We need to have a balance where we trust God to help us with the resources and energy to work and trusting Him to bless the work of our hands to be fruitful

Q. Why is trust without work an illusion?

A. It is not what the Lord God made us to be,  but to work and trust Him to bless us.

Q. How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest?

A. prayerfully ask god to guide in all we do so that we will have a balance in all we do including rest

Q. Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a "heritage" and a "reward"?

A. Children are  of course a heritage, gift, a blessing from God. Of course that is what they are. But He also in His goodness give us children as a reward. Of our faith? Now I am confused now!!

 

 

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On 7/19/2020 at 11:28 AM, Pastor Ralph said:

Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion? How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

Because God is sovereign and in control of all things.  We are not.

God expects us to work. Those in New Testament who weren't willing to work to care for their families were considered worse than unbelievers.

Prayer for discernment of when to work and when to rest. Have a humble, teachable heart, willing to obey the Lord.

People will remember what we were like thru the lens of what our children do.(heritage).  Children can minister to us as we age(reward).

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 7/19/2020 at 9:28 AM, Pastor Ralph said:

Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion? How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

Q - Why is work without trust inadequate? ANS -  It is the Lord that guides, blesses, and adds fruit to our work and efforts.

Q - Why is trust without work an illusion?  ANS -  Kind of like "Faith without Works is Dead" (James 2:14-26).  Same thing!  Trusting and faith go hand in hand, 

Q - How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest?  Ans -  Start every day with "Time alone with God", in reading the Word, and prayer.  The Lord will then guide and direct your ways in a balanced way, so that we can rest in peace at night.

Q - Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?  ANS -  The reward is a result of a blessed marriage, and a heritage to carry on your lineage for generations to come

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On 7/19/2020 at 9:58 PM, Pastor Ralph said:

Day 8 Meditation (Psalm 127). Why is work without trust inadequate? Why is trust without work an illusion? How can we achieve the kind of balance that affords us good rest? Why do you think the psalmist stresses that children are both a “heritage” and a “reward”?

Sometimes one can be overly ambitious when making plans for anything and may try to overreach - which by itself is not a bad thing. But some things may not be favorable for our well being in the grand scheme of things - a scheme known to God. Keeping us safe and within his circle of protection depends upon our obedience to Him. Even when it seems contrary to our own blueprint. So it's conducive to our own wellbeing to continue doing the ground work, but keeping in mind to check whether our blueprint is in alignment with God's. He is concerned about every small detail of our lives - of that we must take to heart. I know I must work on that myself. Many a time when I don't know how to proceed with certain issues and my mind is like a tornado, I just have to put it before Him and say I'm going ahead with what I think I should do. Please close all doors if it's not right in your eyes. Many have slammed painfully on my face I have to say. So I gotta go back and check what I need to change in my attitude or actions. This comes back to meditating and spending good quality time with Him before getting into the rigors of the day. I need to pray to be able to do that too.

Each generation is smarter than the last. Children brought up on the Word of God and adhere to it are a blessing to parents - they don't cause shame and they stand by their parents when their parents are old and frail and speak up for them with God's wisdom that they have inherited through their youth due to the life examples of their parents. 

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  • 2 months later...

All our efforts are futile in the end if we do not partner with God. We have to trust Him to partner with Him. He has blessed us with whatever skills or gifts we may have, but if the Lord's hand is not in whatever we do, it becomes a lot of stress, with no guarantees that we will end up where we planned.

There has to be physical manifestation of what it is we are believing. We cant just wish things into existence; expecting manna to fall from the sky through our roof tops and into our houses! We have to combine the act of trusting in God, with physical conscious moves in that direction, for results to happen.

We are heirs of the Lord and children are our heritage. The fruit of the womb is God's reward. Whether they come by birth or adoption, they are gifts. And even though some may not have children yet, children are just one of the ways we are blessed. There are so many other ways that God blesses us. Some people tend to think children are a burden initially, but they are really blessings to us; our strength when we age.  We love them even when they make mistakes. And that's the same way God feels about us.

 

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  • 2 years later...

God has to bless the work of our hands in order for us to prosper. We can work all day and night, use our own wisdom and past experiences to guide decisions, strategize, and execute a well devised plan based on human intellect. However, it's much more work without the return on investment we can see when God is involved. He can open doors, change hearts, guide events to a specific end in ways we never could. 

We can't just pray and expect God to send blessings out of thin air. He could. But I've learned that generally it's a partnership. God expects us to take action based on His logos and rhema words and allow His to line everything up. But we have to act and move forwards or likely nothing will manifest. Faith and trust are verbs that lead to some type of action or it's not faith and trust. It's hope, not expected anticipated hope but wishful thinking. 

We take our Sabbaths, intentional rest at appropriate times. 

Children are a heritage meaning they are our legacy, carrying our family traditions and DNA into the world. They are a gift from God to us, they will be there for us when we are old to take care of us as we took care of them when they were helpless, at least that is the way it's supposed to work, they are a source of love both ways and an extension of ourselves. 

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