meandean Posted July 8, 2007 Report Share Posted July 8, 2007 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? noone i know likes to be attacked, beaten down, spit on, wadded up and thrown away. we are vindictive and aggressive people and we like to retaliate. but when christ brought us to life, all our rights went to him. it is his right to handle our pain and sufferings of this world.so all our wounds will be healed if we go to him. the scar may remain but our peace will be intact. you know we are so quick on people hurting us, yet i wonder how many people we hurt and disappoint each day. i know one who we should look unto in every case of injustice and spite, he is jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meandean Posted July 13, 2007 Report Share Posted July 13, 2007 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? ouch i feel the nails coming off this coffin. okay, there is an answer that works on paper, but that is not for this question. living by schedules and lists is not intimacy at all. so here goes...i believe we find it so hard to forgive those who hurt us because we still think we have rights to ourselves and we want blood for the crime. not just anyones blood, but those who caused the pain.you see, we are mean people inside and out. and noone is gonna do that to us and get away with it.vengence is mine saith me, you know.christ is our example. compassion and understanding with kindness, we gotta remember we was like the world as well. if we are not immitators of christ we are not showing him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beadie Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 We find it difficult for to forgive for lots of reasons. We can Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickledilly Posted August 27, 2008 Report Share Posted August 27, 2008 Some reasons that forgiveness is difficult: 1) Getting past our own hurts, disappointments, and anger is extremely difficult when we maintain the immature focus on self. If it's not all about Christ, it's usually all about self. We cannot let ourselves be driven by the way we feel. Sometimes things can/should be simply covered by love, especially inadvertent offenses. [1 Peter 4:8] 2) I think a lack of true understanding about the Father's forgiveness toward us also makes it tough to let go. What we haven't fully received for ourselves we cannot give to others. 3) And it appears to be an abandonment of justice to seemingly let an offender off the hook. The teachings on forgiveness in Scripture that I see are directed to "family". In Luke 17:3-4 it's very clear that we are to forgive a repentant believer as often as necessary. In Matthew 18:15,21-22, it's clear that we should be ready to forgive incalculable times. God forgives us every single time we confess our sins [1 John 1:9], and He expects us to follow that model. But what of the unrepentant? Matthew 18:16-17 does not release forgiveness to that person. The example of forgiveness in Ephesians 4:32 is God Himself, who forgives those who are in Christ. The interesting thing I've realized here is that this forgiveness is certainly undeserved and generous and given freely, but there is one nonnegotiable condition. One must repent and accept the saving grace of Christ in order [a] to be in Christ and to receive the Father's forgiveness that has already been procured through Christ. God's forgiveness is never applied apart from repentance and confession. This is His example to us, and it is rarely even mentioned. As Christ prayed from the cross, "Father forgive them…" [Luke 23:34], He released the responsibility of forgiving to the Father. Stephen did the same thing in Acts 7 as he was dying. I think if we are to forgive as we have been forgiven we must release grievances against others to the Father, as offenses against us are first and foremost against Him [Psalm 51:4]. This does not mean we are then excused from any further accountability. As He is at work to rightly deal with a true offense against His child, that child is then freed to desire, pray for, and even work for the good of the offender - just as Christ did for us while we were still unforgiven sinners [Romans 5:8]. When God has brought that person to confessed repentance (we can actually feel sorry for someone under that kind of chastisement), then forgiveness can be applied. Christ never gave any impression that forgiveness is primarily for the one who was wronged, but is to be redemptive for offenders. That other person's road to restoration, and thus forgiveness, should be our main concern. A believer who releases this kind of situation to the Father and maintains a forgiving spirit throughout such a process will display kindness and compassion. In Christ, you can choose a merciful way and loving attitude toward someone you don't even like. I really believe the Lord wants us to understand that if we will take the yoke of Christ (submitting and doing things by His Word and example), according to Matthew 11:28-30, the path will be eased and the burden lightened. Knowing how truly difficult it is to forgive and treat an offender rightly, this precious concept of forgiving others has changed my approach and restored much joy and peace. And when the opportunity to extend forgiveness finally does arrive, it is a beautiful thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edler Posted June 14, 2009 Report Share Posted June 14, 2009 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? Because this is the way God has dealt with us in Christ. theway of Christ is about living out God's love in the way we treat others.and mercy in everyday contact with human beings who need to see God's grace in action. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanMary Posted July 29, 2009 Report Share Posted July 29, 2009 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? We want those who hurt us to be punished or to hurt as they've hurt us....revenge, retaliation is "normal" for our fallen nature. Until I understood that forgiveness isn't condoning the sin or offense against me, or minimizing what was said or done, or making excuses about WHY it was said or done, or forcing me to reconcile with a violent sex offender or abusive unsafe person, I struggled with forgiveness. I heard a story that in an ancient society when a murderer was caught, he had to walk around with the decaying body strapped to his back, living with the weight and stench of decay day and night. Don't know if it's true, but it's a vivid illustration of what holding onto unforgiveness does to the one refusing to let go of the offense. It destroys our peace, hardens our heart, and life becomes "all about me". Unforgiveness also gives Satan a foothold to lead us into sin. According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? God in Christ is our example. He forgives us completely, not holding our sin over our heads to remind us of how "bad" we are. What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? Tenderhearted, understanding, compassionate, kind hearted and readily, freely forgiving. When I learned that forgiveness is none of the above, and that forgiveness releases me to deal with the emotional impact of the offense or sin, and to let it go, as well as to let the other person "go", I became quick to forgive, remembering how freely Christ has forgiven me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanks Posted September 30, 2009 Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people is evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? Because of our egocentric attitude we regard any hurt as a personal attack, and our pride is hurt. Therefore we must retaliate, and to get our own back seems to be the natural reaction. The greatest example of forgiveness is God Himself. The basis of His forgiveness is the work of Christ at Calvary. God forgives us, not because we forgive others, but solely because of His great mercy. The more we come to understand His mercy, the more we will want to be like Him. It is when we realise that we have received forgiveness which we do not deserve, that we will we pass it on to others. If we are unwilling to forgive we must be careful that we have not become one with Christ. Our attitude toward others should be one of kindness; an unselfish concern for the welfare of others, and a desire to be helpful even at great personal sacrifice. At the same time we should be compassionate; being sympathetic and affectionate towards others, and even a willingness to bear their burden. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetmom Posted April 22, 2010 Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 I think the main reason we have trouble forgiving is because we don't really understand the purpose of forgiveness. God gives us the concept of forgiveness as a gift to us. Forgiveness is more about releasing the forgiver from bitterness and pain that drags him or her down and prevents him or her from having open channels to God's peace. Often the "perpetrator" is walking around oblivious anyway to whether he or she has been forgiven. As an example, many people struggle with forgiving relatives who have already died. It's really one of the greatest forms of freedom there is, but we tend to get unforgiveness confused with justice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wifee Posted July 26, 2010 Report Share Posted July 26, 2010 a) Because of our self-centred attitude,our pride becomes hurt & to retaliate seems natural for our fallen nature. God gives us the concept of forgiveness as a gift to us. Forgiveness is more about releasing the forgiver from bitterness and pain that drags him or her down and prevents him or her from having open channels to God's peace. We need to let go of our desire to see justice or vengence,& letting God be judge.We need to let go of personal"rights" b)Our model is God & his forgiveness of us out of his mercy not because of what anything we do. Forgiveness like grace is neither earned nor deserved,but granted freely by the forgiver. c)Paul commands our attitudes to show i)kindness –an unselfish concern for others & a desire to help even at personal sacrifice & ii)compassion –being sympathetice and affectionate towards others even to bear their burden. Forgiveness is the real cure for our own bitterness & pent up anger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RLL Posted July 30, 2010 Report Share Posted July 30, 2010 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? Cause we usually put our trust in the people that do it and feel if they do it once they will do it again.Thats where a forgiving spirit comes in cause man will always fail where Christ won't but still forgive em.Christ does us daily! Christ is our example. Kindness, Tenderhearted, and a forgiving spirit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jripper Posted September 16, 2010 Report Share Posted September 16, 2010 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? It's difficult, because we want to get even with them...JESUS always forgave , but GOD destroyed the evil ones, by fire and brimstone.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyP Posted December 13, 2010 Report Share Posted December 13, 2010 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? 1. Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? It is difficult to forgive them bcause we trust them and believe in them and when you get torn down, the trust is gone and it is hard to forgive. This is where anger sets in causing bitterness and wrath. 2. Our example of forgivenss is God for Christ sake has forgiven us. What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? The heart attitiudes towrd people that are evidence is to be quick to forgive and remember Christ's forgiveness of us is to always be the basis of our forgiveness of others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jubilee Posted July 11, 2011 Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? It is so difficult to forgive those who hurt us because it gets down deep under our skin and brings into the surface other buried wounds of the past. According to Ephesians 4:32, God in Christ became our example of forgiveness. According to verse 32 the heart attitudes toward people evidenced of a forgiving spirit is showing kindness and compassion/mercy towards people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jubilee Posted July 13, 2011 Report Share Posted July 13, 2011 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? It is so difficult to forgive those who hurt us because it gets down deep under our skin and brings into the surface other buried wounds of the past. According to Ephesians 4:32, God in Christ became our example of forgiveness. According to verse 32, the heart attitudes toward people evidenced of a forgiving spirit is showing kindness and compassion/mercy towards people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Jerry Posted August 9, 2012 Report Share Posted August 9, 2012 I think that is so difficult to forgive those who hurt us because you want to hurt them in the same way. We are to turn that anger of revenge over to God but in our heart we still want to get even with that person. The example of forgiving is that of Jesus Christ. The heart attitude toward people that we have forgiven is that of being kind and compassionate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lighthouse2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? It is difficult to forgive those who hurt us because they have injured our pride and or self esteem. We are most hurt by those who are close to us or the ones we love dearly. We usually try to find some situation or act they are most vulnerable to, to come back with words that hurt them. Our example of forgiveness comes from God our Father, Who has forgiven us of our sins by sending Christ His Son to die for us. The heart attitude toward other people are evident of a forgiving spirit by being kind and compassionate towards those who have hurt us dearly. By showing these attributes we are witnessing to others that we are filled with Gods love and compassion. Â Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoanG Posted May 14, 2015 Report Share Posted May 14, 2015 We want to hurt those who hurt us. We want to believe that by withholding forgiveness we are hurting them. We do not want to let them off the hook. We might feel that they deserve the punishment. However, we are only keeping ourselves from healing if we do this. We keep the pain alive within ourselves. However, we need to look to Christ and learn to let go. We need to be kind and compassionate. We need to allow ourselves to grow in maturity and to let go of the pain and heal our hearts and souls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen11 Posted December 2, 2017 Report Share Posted December 2, 2017 On 9/4/2006 at 8:58 AM, Pastor Ralph said: Q4. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? We don't think the person deserves it. Just as in Christ God forgave us. Kindness and compassion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanks Posted March 6, 2022 Report Share Posted March 6, 2022 Q45. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? Because of our egocentric attitude we regard any hurt as a personal attack, and our pride is hurt. Therefore, we must retaliate, and to get our own back seems to be the natural reaction. The greatest example of forgiveness is God Himself. The basis of His forgiveness is the work of Christ at Calvary. God forgives us, not because we forgive others, but solely because of His great mercy. The more we come to understand His mercy, the more we will want to be like Him. It is only when we realise that we have received forgiveness which we do not deserve, that we will we pass it on to others. If we are unwilling to forgive we must be careful that we have not become one with Christ. Our attitude toward others should be one of kindness; an unselfish concern for the welfare of others, and a desire to be helpful even at great personal sacrifice. At the same time, we should be compassionate; being sympathetic and affectionate towards others, and even a willingness to bear their burden.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haar Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Q42. (Ephesians 4:17-19) Using Ephesians 4:17-19 as a basis, how would you describe (in your own words), the secular, non-Christian mindset of our age? Why are we tempted to conform to its values? The secular, non- Christian mindset of our age is generally corrupted, immoral and offensive to God. Unfortunately, this attitude is also found among some who claim to be Christians. The Christians who are tempted to conform to this ugly mindset are those who are not rooted in the Lord and his word. Those that are rooted may and can be tempted to conform in such but have the power to resist such temptation. Even if they fall, and we sometimes fall, can get up, confess and repent and move on again. Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haar Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Q45. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? We find it difficult to forgive because of the pain of being hurt but most importantly, we fail to remember that we too have been forgiven and we are commanded to forgive too. Â According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? The Lord Jesus Christ is our example of forgiveness. On the cross he asked God to forgive those that molested and crucified him, and also died for our sins to be forgiven. What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? Kindness and compassion are the heart attitudes for forgiveness. I need and hunger for these attitudes Lord, so help me develop and apply them. Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bianca Posted March 13, 2022 Report Share Posted March 13, 2022 The reason why it can be difficult to forgive someone is because we feel they have wronged us to a point that they don't deserve forgiveness but yet God forgave us. Yes there are things people do that can make you not want to be around them again but we are still call to forgive. You can forgive and still not be around the person anymore and not hold grudges. It doesn't feel good to walk around in bitterness or unforgiveness. It can also start to affect your physical health. God is the example of forgiveness. He is the perfect example. He sent his son Jesus so we can spend eternity with him. Awesome. Kindness and being compassionate are right heart attitudes. Loving forgiving hearts will always want to operate with compassion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janzie Posted April 22, 2022 Report Share Posted April 22, 2022 On 9/4/2006 at 8:58 AM, Pastor Ralph said: Q45. (Ephesians 4:32) Why is it so difficult to forgive those who hurt us? According to Ephesians 4:32, who is our example of forgiveness? What heart attitudes toward people are evidence of a forgiving spirit, according to verse 32a? It is difficult because we hang on to our pride that we are right and the other person is wrong. Our example of forgiveness is God sending His Son for us, no matter what we did. Having a tender heart toward people is evidence of a forgiving spirit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonathan Edwards Posted April 26, 2022 Report Share Posted April 26, 2022 We have a poor understanding of Divine forgiveness.  Not having a true understanding of St. Paul's doctrinal expositions in his letter to the Ephesians, our understanding of God's forgiveness is warped. We need to carefully go over the doctrinal statements of this letter, and carefully meditate on this glorious theme of God's forgiveness. Christ is the pattern of our forgiveness. God who is so full of mercy and long-suffering sent His only Begotten Son to our world. All our worse sins, the worst and blackest are forgotten. God wrought this out of the love of His heart. We must be instruments for reconciliation; sense of divine pity must influence our attitudes and demeanor for those who have wronged us. Our love for our enemies will override any bitterness that may be hidden in our hearts. The life and the whole work of our vocations are to follow the Divine call. Our opinions and actions must consistent with Bible truth, and with God's will.            Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Jerry Posted June 9, 2022 Report Share Posted June 9, 2022 I think it is difficult to forgive those who hurts is because we want to get even. Jesus is our example of forgiveness. We will have the heart of Jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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